I feel so young and out of the circle. So many people I knew from high school are getting married or having babies. So many people around me are living their dreams or making them a reality. I’m simply making no progression. But in saying that I am reminded of something a friend always says, “Progress is not always forward motion” (–Lauren Stonestreet).
But still, I wonder. Am I making any progress within my lack of motion? Or am I simply wasting time working on someone else’s dream… Nothing is honestly holding me back but, well, me. I’m scared to put myself out there. I’m scared to try in fear of not succeeding. I’m scared I won’t be good enough to be what I dream. I’m scared of rejection. I’m scared of stepping into the leader I am. I’m scared of making the wrong decision. I’m scared of regretting the happenings of my life when I’m on my death bed. I’m scared no one will believe in me. I’m scared no one will tell me the truth, or if they do, it won’t be the truth I wanted to hear. I’m scared my voice won’t be what I wish it to be.
But really, what do I have to lose?
But you know what….
I think I’m just scared of myself.
I hate that I’m clothed in this fear. I hate that I’m clothed in this depression. I hate that I can’t get myself out. I hate that I can’t do it on my own.
Hi, I just passed here and saw your post, and I’d like to tell you, you are not alone. Most of my friends are getting close to graduate or working already, and I’m still in college. I sometimes feel that I am useless person, dont have actual dream, dont know what to do in future, no any plans. Then I decide to put everything down and start to thinking what I really want, it may not be quick to ask, but I believe I will. It is only a matter of time. So time your time, think slowly, find what you really want to do.