why is it so hard to find a man who will honestly pursue a lady? key word: honestly

pursuit, not because he cannot have the girl, but because he needs her. and because she needs him just as desperately. i’m talking about pursuit of the depths of her soul, about pursuing her even when she’s being too clingy or needy or when she calls too much or wants to be around you 90% of her time. pursue her even more fervently. even more desperately. dishonest pursuit… it’s kind of like, i want you until you want me, then i don’t want you anymore. that isn’t honest pursuit. that kind of pursuit gives up and is childish and is no where to be found when things don’t seem to go their way.

i once heard it said that God created women to reflect himself. the way we long for relationships with those around us, the way we are dying to get just a little bit of your time and attention and energy. the way we long to be pursued in the same manner we are pursuing others. women need relationships with others, we need to be able to talk, or just hear your voice talk to us about God or the universe or even how sucky your day went. we just want to be honestly pursued. we don’t want to be a burden, we don’t want to dampen your spirit, we want to be a light, a breather, a breath of fresh air in a hectic life.

men seem to immediately draw away from the women who pursue them in honesty. the women who just want to be near them, be in the same room with them, touch their hand…

i know, there are some difficult women to please out there, but women like myself, and so many more out there… it’s so simple. we just want you. we don’t want to take up all of your time.. we just want to be brought along on your journey, and to help you through the bumps you run into. we are not running around hooking up with every man that happens to pass by, but we’ve waited, and are waiting, for the one man who choses to accept our simple pleas of simple moments in each other’s presence. for the one who woo’s us, and grasps our heart in such an extreme way we cannot bare to breathe. for the man who can cause butterflies in our stomach just by saying “i’m thinking about you” or “hey there beautiful”. i know that man is out there. the one who will take away my loneliness and help me through my days of darkness. the man that will allow me to take away his loneliness and help him through his days of darkness.

i’m waiting.
i’ll be waiting until he arrives.
although i’m not in any rush, i do wish he’d hurry up a tad
the dark and lonely days are becoming harder to bare.

yes, i’m waiting for you.

Hi, my name is, oh who cares, I just love JESUS!

The other day while lazily browsing the internet, I happened to randomly pen down this little thought,

“I’m not asking to be your journey, I’m just asking to be taken along the path you walk. I don’t want to be ur burden, I want to be ur light.”

People immediately assumed I was talking about relationships with the opposite sex, and while that is fine, people are allowed their own interpretations, I was not talking about such. I was thinking about how so many people I’ve come across since graduating from high school in 2007, have refused to allow me into their lives in a personal manner. 90% of these people being Christians, or as they call themselves, “followers of Christ”. Now this isn’t a blog putting down anybody or saying someone inparticular hurt me or wha wha wha blah blah blah… no, this is a blog about how we’ve hurt Jesus Christ. How we’ve let Him down, both those who have blocked me out of their lives, and myself.

I’m not going to go into a big story about myself, I’m going to go into a big story about Jesus. Because I want to talk about Him and how that little quote above reflects what He is whispering to us daily. I penned those words to reflect how I feel about friendships, and people I’ve tried getting closer with in the past 1-2 years. Well I suddenly realized how God is saying it to us. He’s not asking to be your journey, He’s asking to be taken along, everywhere you go, in everything you do, everything you say! He just wants to hold your hand along the path, and even occasionally carry you when you get too tired to go another step. Jesus isn’t and should not be our burden! HE IS NOT A BURDEN! He is a LIGHT! We see Him as this HUGE burden, ruining our lives! I know, I know, “Jesus makes me blue”, it’s the truth in some sense, but that’s when we are only thinking of our little meager selves! Jesus doesn’t make me bbblluuueee!! He makes me UBER freakin excited! He makes me want to jump and scream and laugh and smile to no end!!!! No no no no no! Jesus does not make me blue! My selfishness makes me blue! My self-centered attitude makes me blue! Jesus makes me shine! Shine with joy and happiness! Why are we as Christians running around saying things such as “Jesus ruined my life”!!!! I know, in some ways, when we are thinking about ourselves, this is true! Super true! But nooooo! Think about Jesssuussss! He doesn’t make you blue! Not at all! He’s beautiful and lovely and good and I, oh man, I don’t know what else! Everything good and right and true! He is NOT a burden unless we make Him one. He is a freakin bright and shining light! A piercing light when there is nothing but sadness and darkness and heavy hearts. He is good. He is good. He is good!

I’ve been ignoring God. I haven’t been reading my bible much. My prayers have been so scarce, it’s a wonder He still knows my name, my heart, my everything. I’ve been chasing around for people’s approval, instead of His already open accepting loving arms, ready for me to snuggle up in! I don’t know, I just woke up this morning, so in love with Him! So ready for everything He has! So in love, so so so in love! He’s my romance, He is my friend, He is my shoulder to cry on! No one else! Just Him!!!!

“Are you not from everlasting, O Lord my God, my Holy One? We shall not die.” -Habakkuk 1:12

“17 Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor the fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, 18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will take joy in the God on my salvation. 19 God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deers, he makes me tread on my high places.” -Habakkuk 3:17-19

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.” -Philippians 4:4

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirst for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in you name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” – Psalm 63:1-8